I can say that relatively with confidence because I could have never predicted how things would change throughout these last few years. I’ve changed, Jeff has changed, our marriage, & our needs have changed. There have been times when DD has been the main focus in our relationship. In the beginning this was especially true as I couldn’t imagine going even a week without a spanking. There have been times that we have taken DD very lightly and almost playfully and other times where it has been an extremely serious tool in our marriage and still others where spanking was something we used primarily in the bedroom to spice things up. There have certainly been times when I thought that I had no need for spanking at all and Jeff surprised me by thinking differently. Conversely there have been times I thought I needed a spanking & Jeff thought amnesty was the best course of action.
As I head toward menopause I am certain beyond a doubt that spanking as discipline will be rearing its head again very soon. All of the females in my family go through menopause early and it’s usually a doozy of a time. Despite only being 35 my kids are older with my oldest being 20 and my youngest being 13. We will reach the time of empty nesters before most. Because we have been on an accelerated course raising our children I wonder if age has as much to do with the stages we go through than the circumstances of our lives.
The question for me is, will I become more or less sensitive to punishment as I get older. I seem to be in a place right now where discipline is something that is more emotional for me. I can handle light warnings or playful acts of dominance that remind me that he is still in charge better than full on punishment sessions. A few years ago, I will admit, I actually craved the discipline & would have been mortally wounded if he had not carried through. It’s funny how a few years can change the way we respond to the same thing.
As I see that hormonal shift toward menopause I’m reminded of how off my rocker I was when I was pregnant and breastfeeding. I’m back to having a harder time being able to curb my tongue during those more hormonal times. I cry at the drop of a hat & feel very out of control at times. It will probably be of great benefit to have an anchor in my husband during that time. It will also help him hold on to sanity a bit himself as he helps me navigate these waters.
I wonder if he will mellow out more as he gets older or if he will ramp it up as our kids move out on their own. What about when we have grandkids? How much discipline will I actually need? Will I reach a precipice of everything evening out and not needing spanking anymore? Somehow I doubt it because spanking is a need I have deep inside me. It is a need I have always had. Always. How can something that is a part of who you are disappear? I don’t think it can. Sure it shifts and moves and changes, but it never goes away. My bigger question is how will he change?
I’m sure as we navigate these years to come DD & spanking will take turns we never expected. I have already learned to expect the unexpected in this lifestyle. All I know is that I am looking forward to every moment that I have with my husband no matter what direction our spanking relationship takes.
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