Friday, September 6, 2013

Round Table Discussion - Spanking Beginnings & Fantasies Come True

roundtable_first_week_2-300x210I am so excited to be participating in a new feature over on the Spanking Romance Review Blog! Several of us have started an ongoing Round Table Discussion pertaining to hot button issues of the spanking community! Every two weeks we will discuss a new topic that is near and dear to the spanking community’s heart. After you read this blog head on over to SRR’s blog to see our debut post and find the links to the other participant’s responses!

This week’s discussion is led by yours truly! I've always been fascinated by how others discovered their interest in spanking & how they have explored it. So on that note here is this week’s discussion questions:

  1.  When did you first know you were interested in spanking, and the surrounding ideas that come with it?

  2. When did you finally cross over from fantasies to bringing it into real life? (Or has that yet to happen?)

I've been a spanko I think my entire life. From Ken spanking Barbie or Barbie spanking Barbie it's always been there. I remember looking up spanking in the dictionary over and over and in every new dictionary I could find. I tried to incorporate spanking with a few of my high school boyfriends, but I really don't think they thought I was being serious. I did have one spanking experience with my long time high school boyfriend. We were just joking around and it turned into so much more. I literally went weak in the knees when he pulled his belt out of its loop’s and made me bend over for a spanking. I had never been so turned on in my life. Sadly that relationship was over, but it left a burning desire in my mind (and fantasies!)

I met my husband a couple years later. We had a whirlwind romance and were married within only two months (with three kids between us.) There was a lot of playful spanking, but with so many kids under five we were just never really able to fully develop this kink. Throughout the years after we had a fight I would fantasize about him taking me over his knee and spanking me soundly then placing me in the corner. I didn't tell him during those years about the desire because I was terrified about giving up that kind of control. We were also both pretty staunchly feminist, so I kept those fantasies to myself.

At about the five year mark I started re-awakening sexually. The spanking play began again and it was great! One day as I perused the web for spanking stories and videos I stumbled across a CDD web page. Let me tell you it resonated from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. It was a huge light bulb moment! I remembered seeing Bethany's community (before she created Blushing Books.) They had a forum where couples practiced DD but it wasn't clearly defined as DD is today. This CDD site was a few pages and it described to a T exactly what I wanted and needed! I could combine my sexual need for spanking with my goals for in marriage and our household. I was a hopeless slob, hormones got the best of me more times than not, and I wanted his dominance so very much. I have found that DD appeals to me because I like having a purpose for the spanking. I like adding it into daily life. It makes getting things done so much more appealing. I am ever the practical Capricorn!

It turned out I was too chicken to follow through with bringing DD up to him then. I tried, but backed down at the first look of incredulous. I didn't even take the time to explain. It wasn't for another four YEARS that I made my second (and final) attempt. I enjoyed the play, but I wanted the real thing. And I got it! Hubby reacted well to my second attempt. I explained way better this time! I even got my first discipline spanking that week. It's funny that I forget what it was for now. I just remember how weird it was. It felt so scripted and like we were playing pretend. He had me bend over the bed, lower my panties, and he spanked me a little bit with his hand and then used the ping pong paddle about 10 times. He kept asking if he was hurting me and if I was okay. I remember coming away feeling like I hadn't been punished at all. He was so scared that he was going to bruise me or hurt me for real. It took him a little bit of time to get past that, but let me tell you he has gotten past it!!

Over the years DD has taken different forms. In the beginning I really wanted that DD fantasy that I had always read about in books. As time went on we realized that didn't really work for us. It works better when we pick our goals or spankable offences and if I ask him for a spanking when I feel guilty or when I need it. He has become so much more confident and dominant. And boy is it HOT!! He has dominance in the bedroom honed to a science. YUM YUM YUM! We are very adventurous and in DD and out of DD have ventured to many other aspects aside from spanking. I'm not sure how to explain why spanking works so well when I am a spanko, but they do. This whole dynamic works well. There is a difference between punishment spankings and maintenance, stress relief, or play spankings. Sometimes it's just the tone of the whole thing. Whatever it is it works for us.

Fantasy has become reality in many ways. I know that I have many more fantasies to come true in the future as well! That’s why I keep reading those smoking hot spanking romances! So spanking romance authors keep on writing and fueling those fantasies!!

How did you first discover you were interested in spanking? Have you experienced that moment where fantasy becomes reality? I would LOVE to hear your experiences as well!

Visit the rest of our circle by clicking HERE.


  1. […] And don’t forget to check out the other fantastic submissions by Renee Rose, Casey McKay, Natasha Knight, and Corinne Alexander. […]

  2. What an interesting journey you've had! Happy that you have the DD relationship you wanted.

  3. I very much appreciate your honesty - that it wasn't all great straight away and just more real. As you know, you add a clarity and insight to things I often times can't and I'm thrilled to know you.

  4. Thanks, Cara! It has been an interesting journey and I suspect it will continue to be!

  5. I'm thrilled beyond words to know you too, Natasha! You know there were great moments & then real life & insecurity slips in. Once you set it aside the great moments resurface again! Knowing that I'm not alone out here with the things I want out of my relationship makes it SO MUCH EASIER to let go!

  6. Corinne, I have always loved reading your posts and thoughts. Your journey, and emotions, and desires, mirror so much of my own. Sometimes, I feel like you are speaking from my own heart!
    Thanks for sharing yourself with us!!

  7. It's nice to know I wasn't alone with the obsession over spankings since early on in life! You are always so well thought out and honest. Thanks so much for bringing us together this first week :)

  8. Thank you for sharing your story-- it's so great and you do help all of us on our journeys as well by speaking from your experience.

    And what is it about all spankos with looking the word up in the dictionary?? I used to just STARE at it. I guess it carries the energy of what we were interested in...

  9. My story, from a male perspective, has similarities to your own. I think many of us who look back begin to realize we went through some common areas of discovery. From fantasy to spanko/play and then many of us continue on to bring it into our lives in the form of a DD lifestyle relationship choice.
    I look forward to reading here often and will check out the SRR round table also :)
    # MrBBSpanker

  10. Thanks, Katherine!That means a lot to me!

  11. This has been so much fun! I cannot wait for future posts! You are definitely not alone!

  12. You must be right because early spankos are famous for looking up the word spanking in the dictionary! I think it does hold a certain energy. I know I for one wanted as much information about it as I could get! I loved that in many dictionaries there would be a sentence with the word contained in it. I would read that sentence over & over & over again!

    I love that we all help each other by sharing all of our stories!

  13. I agree no matter the direction we take to explore these desires we all have commonality at one point or another! I do remember when Jeff & I started DD I wanted no part of spanking play. DD was very serious to me at that time. I think I was trying to make that divide in my mind as to what was what so that we could fully explore what DD was all about. We have definitely added play back into our dynamic with gusto. I am so grateful for each part of our journey though! Each provided us with so many valuable experiences.

  14. What a lovely insight into your personal journey. It's also so nice to read that the thing you longed for for so many years did eventually live up to your dreams as all too often it doesn't. Like many, I too was fascinated by the "S" word even when I was young, yes, spanking...there is something about the word that just sends shivers down my spine

  15. I am very lucky that I have a partner who is willing to give anything a shot if it will make me happy. We have had some amazing moments along this journey, definite fantasy come true moments. Know this, though, it takes a whole lot of that unsexy word...communication...& an equally unsexy word...hard work to make it happen. It's not an instant magical moment for most. You have to be willing to lay it all on the line and open yourself up like you never have before. When real life gets in the way of our intimacy I can rest easy knowing that if we have once achieved it we can achieve it once more. Once you break those walls down, really start sharing who you are, & explore the easier it is each time to find that place once more between you.