Round Table Discussion: Feminism & Spanking

This is how I feel about my spanking needs & my freedom to express them. Having this outlet makes me feel like I have super powers. I can accomplish anything. Spanking gives me the outlet I need & focuses me in a way that I am a much more productive human being. I am grateful beyond measure that I have this option in my life. After all, even Wonder Woman needs a good spanking every now and again.

I feel like all things healthy, empowering, & good boil down to one thing…choice. Feminism has gone a long way to provide that choice to women. It was not long ago that women were owned first by their fathers and then later by their husbands. They had no choice except what was permitted by those in charge of them. They had no real voice at home or in public. There were no repercussions if either of these men hurt or abused them on any level.  While it’s true that families remained intact far more often than they do today, & it was socially acceptable for wives to obey their husbands, these two things do not equal happiness While it would be nice to have my chosen lifestyle weather in the bedroom or as a whole relationship style with my husband to be accepted and not ostracized by mainstream society I also value my choice in the matter heart and soul. I value my freedom and ability to choose what kind of life I live to the molecules of my being. Feminism has done wonders for this world.

At the root of the matter, though, I am a humanist. I value human rights above all else. I think my DD sisters who feel nostalgic for a time when tearing down your husband wasn’t socially acceptable have a point. A woman having equal rights & value does not mean that treating men with disdain should be acceptable too. Love & respect in marriage & society would be ideal. It is also what I strive for in my own life. My husband is not stupid & neither am I. Neither of us deserves to be treated as if we are.  I don’t think going back in time will solve this dilemma. It trades one set of mistreatment for another. In history there are many examples of the pendulum swinging. This is just one example of that. Many times when a group of people have been oppressed for a time once that oppression is lifted it is natural for the pendulum to swing in the other direction.  We over compensate for past slights. Eventually that pendulum will rest right in the middle. I am hoping we will find that happy medium in this realm soon.

I am so grateful that my sisters & brothers before me fought for my human rights & my rights to choose. Because of that fight I get to choose to explore a spanking fetish & lifestyle. My husband and I were able to choose to explore spanking in the bedroom & later choose to incorporate a DD lifestyle by agreement in our marriage. Surrendering in this set of circumstances makes me happy. Having my rear end reddened both in the bedroom and as discipline helps make my world go round. Just as choosing to be a stay at home mom, writer, & holistic health care practitioner have added great quality to my life. Without feminism I would have none of this.

Before I end this I also have to address the thought that is floating out there that choosing to be spanked or to submit to someone else is in some way dis-empowering to females & a setback to feminism. As a choice that is incredibly empowering to me who is to judge what empowers whom? Just as it was unfair many years ago to be controlled by one set of very limiting beliefs on what is wrong and what is right it is just as wrong today no matter which side you are on. Being taken across a man’s knee to be spanked is an intimate act that should have been agreed upon at some point previously. Consent is the key factor. Your views may not be my views. Your wants may not be my wants. That is the beauty of a free society. We have the obligation to remember to live and let live. It may not be your choice, but it may very well make someone else happy.

What I have taken out of all of this is that if I want everyone to live freely and be accepted in the life choice they make with anyone else who is also actively agreeing then I owe it to myself & the world around me to live authentically. I must be who I am not just at home, but in the world. The more we show the world how many people & how many choices there really are the more the world will come into balance.

Please visit Spanking Romance Reviews by clicking the icon below to check out our hostess, Casey McKay's main post on this fabulous topic!

Round Table Discussion - Spanking Beginnings & Fantasies Come True

I am so excited to be participating in a new feature over on the Spanking Romance Review Blog! Several of us have started an ongoing Round Table Discussion pertaining to hot button issues of the spanking community! Every two weeks we will discuss a new topic that is near and dear to the spanking community’s heart. After you read this blog head on over to SRR’s blog to see our debut post and find the links to the other participant’s responses!

This week’s discussion is led by yours truly! I've always been fascinated by how others discovered their interest in spanking & how they have explored it. So on that note here is this week’s discussion questions:

1.  When did you first know you were interested in spanking, and the surrounding ideas that come with it?


2. When did you finally cross over from fantasies to bringing it into real life? (Or has that yet to happen?)

I've been a spanko I think my entire life. From Ken spanking Barbie or Barbie spanking Barbie it's always been there. I remember looking up spanking in the dictionary over and over and in every new dictionary I could find. I tried to incorporate spanking with a few of my high school boyfriends, but I really don't think they thought I was being serious. I did have one spanking experience with my long time high school boyfriend. We were just joking around and it turned into so much more. I literally went weak in the knees when he pulled his belt out of its loop’s and made me bend over for a spanking. I had never been so turned on in my life. Sadly that relationship was over, but it left a burning desire in my mind (and fantasies!)

I met my husband a couple years later. We had a whirlwind romance and were married within only two months (with three kids between us.) There was a lot of playful spanking, but with so many kids under five we were just never really able to fully develop this kink. Throughout the years after we had a fight I would fantasize about him taking me over his knee and spanking me soundly then placing me in the corner. I didn't tell him during those years about the desire because I was terrified about giving up that kind of control. We were also both pretty staunchly feminist, so I kept those fantasies to myself.

At about the five year mark I started re-awakening sexually. The spanking play began again and it was great! One day as I perused the web for spanking stories and videos I stumbled across a CDD web page. Let me tell you it resonated from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. It was a huge light bulb moment! I remembered seeing Bethany's community (before she created Blushing Books.) They had a forum where couples practiced DD but it wasn't clearly defined as DD is today. This CDD site was a few pages and it described to a T exactly what I wanted and needed! I could combine my sexual need for spanking with my goals for in marriage and our household. I was a hopeless slob, hormones got the best of me more times than not, and I wanted his dominance so very much. I have found that DD appeals to me because I like having a purpose for the spanking. I like adding it into daily life. It makes getting things done so much more appealing. I am ever the practical Capricorn!

It turned out I was too chicken to follow through with bringing DD up to him then. I tried, but backed down at the first look of incredulous. I didn't even take the time to explain. It wasn't for another four YEARS that I made my second (and final) attempt. I enjoyed the play, but I wanted the real thing. And I got it! Hubby reacted well to my second attempt. I explained way better this time! I even got my first discipline spanking that week. It's funny that I forget what it was for now. I just remember how weird it was. It felt so scripted and like we were playing pretend. He had me bend over the bed, lower my panties, and he spanked me a little bit with his hand and then used the ping pong paddle about 10 times. He kept asking if he was hurting me and if I was okay. I remember coming away feeling like I hadn't been punished at all. He was so scared that he was going to bruise me or hurt me for real. It took him a little bit of time to get past that, but let me tell you he has gotten past it!!

Over the years DD has taken different forms. In the beginning I really wanted that DD fantasy that I had always read about in books. As time went on we realized that didn't really work for us. It works better when we pick our goals or spankable offences and if I ask him for a spanking when I feel guilty or when I need it. He has become so much more confident and dominant. And boy is it HOT!! He has dominance in the bedroom honed to a science. YUM YUM YUM! We are very adventurous and in DD and out of DD have ventured to many other aspects aside from spanking. I'm not sure how to explain why spanking works so well when I am a spanko, but they do. This whole dynamic works well. There is a difference between punishment spankings and maintenance, stress relief, or play spankings. Sometimes it's just the tone of the whole thing. Whatever it is it works for us.

Fantasy has become reality in many ways. I know that I have many more fantasies to come true in the future as well! That’s why I keep reading those smoking hot spanking romances! So spanking romance authors keep on writing and fueling those fantasies!!

How did you first discover you were interested in spanking? Have you experienced that moment where fantasy becomes reality? I would LOVE to hear your experiences as well!

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